Teresa Brown

A comedy about a small town’s loud and unpopular grocer, Morris Pimbleton, who is running in an election to become mayor.  In order to convince the townspeople to vote for him, Morris decides to enter (and hopefully win) a CBC Radio contest:  “The Nicest Small Town in Canada.”  Morris tries to create a picture-perfect, prize-winning small town, and so he tells the CBC about his town's many idyllic qualities -- unfortunately, many of these qualities do not actually exist.  At the same time, he must convince the townspeople to be as “nice” as possible, despite their quirky and sometimes not-so-nice behaviour.

In his drive to win the contest and become mayor, Morris recklessly promises everything to everyone, and only his wife Anna sees the possible problems that may result from her husband’s grand exaggerations.  All too soon, however, Morris will see the problems, too, as he juggles feuding neighbours, gambling seniors, skateboarding teenagers, and shoplifting grannies with an unexpected visit from the CBC.

Produced by Theatre Wellesley, 2005

18 - 20 actors, male and female, varying ages

Adaptable to any small town 

Imagine a play set in a saloon in the Old West ... a saloon that shares its building with a church.

Imagine a play where saloon girls sing ragtime tunes ... in harmony with hymns at a funeral.

Imagine a  play that begins with a bar fight, features villains and heroes with a golden secret, and ends with a shootout you'll never forget.

When Joe the bartender finds himself running a saloon in a dry county, he has a choice:  close the bar, or share the building with a church.  After many hilarious conflicts between cowboys and the Town Council, saloon girls and the Ladies' Auxiliary, and Pastor Percival Parsons with Joe himself,  there remains only one option:  Joe and the Pastor must  work together  to stop the evil villains from closing the Sacred Heart Saloon forever.

Colourful characters, ragtime piano, slapstick and one-liners, a gut-bustingly hilarious funeral -- and, of course, a yeee-haw! shootout -- make this play a sure-fire Old West winner!

Produced by Theatre Wellesley, 2007 

16 actors, male and female, varying ages

Ragtime score included

Fire Red Blood is a two-act drama about volunteer firefighting in a small town.  The plot follows the rookie John over the course of one year as a volunteer firefighter.  He joins not knowing what he’s getting into, and indeed soon discovers that the job is not entirely what he expected.  Increasingly, John is torn between excitement and boredom, triumphs and frustrations, camaraderie and horror, and he begins debating whether he’s “got it in him” to do the job.

The play includes fire and other emergency scenes, personal moments both dramatic and humourous, and ordinary day-to-day duties.  There is no melodramatic heroism in the play, but there is one unifying question:  “why does someone become a volunteer firefighter?”  The question is examined through the vibrant characters, each of whom embodies different motivations and strengths -- and, of course, through John’s experiences and emotions.  By the play’s end, the question is left unanswered -- but a more important question is finally understood.

Fire Red Blood  employs lighting, sound effects, and amplified voices to create the intense drama of fire scenes.  The effects are easy to achieve and are extremely effective because of their realism:  the response protocols, bunker gear, and set are based on the playwright’s personal experience with volunteer fire departments.  Consequently, there is an accurate depiction of volunteering:   the startling speed, intensity, and professionalism necessary to do the job is highlighted when “ordinary guys” must suddenly respond to an emergency. 

The play’s unique and accurately portrayed subject matter ensures that its story will doubtlessly generate a high degree of community interest and support:  suitable for a wide variety of audiences, Fire Red Blood will draw audiences close, entertain and fascinate, and finally burn indelibly into their minds.

Scheduled for Production in 2009, Elmira Theatre Company

6 male, 2 female actors (1 non-speaking child)